Monday, 20 July 2015

Unapologetically Embarrassing

Call it inspiration, call it madness or don’t call it anything. But, is it possible that we’ve been giving ourselves a hard time (for years) over something that isn’t our issue after all? Hear me out. What if it really is okay to be unapologetically you. The ‘you' who makes mistakes, says the wrong thing and at the heart of it all isn’t very cool. What if the problem isn’t that you’re a little freaky, it’s that the rest of the world isn’t. Truth is, if someone doesn’t like you for ‘you’, maybe that’s not your problem. 

This isn’t some sort of get out jail free card that excuses all your bad mistakes and lapses in judgement (unfortunately). This is, instead, a little reminder that if, for whatever reason, someone has an issue with you doing ‘you’, letting your freak flag fly (and all that goes with it) then maybe they’re the ones with the problem…  Call it a nudge…  Some advice that should help you see the good in those ‘oh so awkward’ blooper moments you’ve tried to forget, and why they could be the best examples of you. 

“That’s really embarrassing Katy, I mean… Why would you say that?”
“Oh, sorry. You’re so right. I really should stop being myself, become a #basicbitch and stop doing all the things that make me different”

The perfect example of something that isn’t your problem is when you’re made to feel awkward for being who you are. 

When someone calls you out for being ‘embarrassing' what are they REALLY saying? I guess the jist of it is that someone somewhere has decided something about you is a little out of the ordinary and that makes them uncomfortable. Whilst I hate the idea of anyone feeling uneasy in my company or whatever there are some things noone should have to apologise for. Being yourself is definitely one of them. 

I normally get that i’m a little too OTT, too into the 70’s, a little too much myself on social media and a little too clued up on Arrested Development references. Whilst I agree with all these statements, what’s the issue? I’m sure people have a lot worse qualities, I know I do. Really ladies, since when has one girls enthusiasm for decent music and Jason Bateman ever hurt anybody? I’m  first to put my hands up when i’ve said something out of turn or done something i’m not proud of, but i’m not sorry for being embarrassing. Not even a little bit. 

The thing that really sparked this post is the criticism internet dwellers (myself, bloggers, people with feelings all included) receive for their ‘online' presence. The use and abuse of social media if you will. I apologise if i’ve been abusing the unwritten rules of Instagram, Snapchat or whatever… But tell me, how could being your true self online and in real life ever be wrong? Okay, dialling back the diva, but the point stands. Why should people have to apologise for sharing their ‘embarrassing’ truth on any platform.  I mean, that’s like Tobias apologising for being a never nude or Lucille apologising for not liking GOB. Oh damn it, i’m at it again… What i’m saying is, that’s just not your problem. 

Personally, i’ve come to terms with the fact i’m a little dorky, a little stupid and a little bit of a mess. I guess if you’re not okay with that, that’s not my problem. If me dancing to the Bee Gee’s, quoting Ru Paul pretending i’m Kimmy Schmidt and being myself upsets you on Snapchat then you really wouldn’t like me in real life and that’s not my problem. 

I’ve made plenty of mistakes which definitely are my problem and that I definitely need to sort out, online and otherwise, but trust me, being yourself is never something you should apologise for. If you don’t like the me I am in life and online unfollow. 


A huge embarrassment. Over and out 


Sunday, 12 July 2015

Tech Special | Iconemesis Love

Like most internet dwellers I am obsessed with my iPhone. It's my diary, alarm clock, stalking device and selfie machine... I don't know what i'd do with out it. Actually, I do. I'd probably do better in exams and have much better people skills, but hey ho the real world's over rated! SO when iconemesis got in touch asking me to review one of their gorgeous phone cases I couldn't help but say yes. 


Sunday, 5 July 2015

A Little Update | Finding 'You'

This post is something a little different. Sorry to disappoint but this won’t be a look inside my make up bag or a tour of my wardrobe, instead i’m going to talk you lovely readers through a little life update. In just a few months so many aspects of my life have changed entirely. I’ve stepped away from negative influences, reconnected with family and friends, rediscovered my music, met amazing people and laid exciting plans for the future. These changes have all been positive and have got me thinking about how things have a funny way of working themselves out… 

A couple of months ago I was in a pretty dark place (excuse the literary cliché, but it’s true) my anxiety was through the roof and every day was a struggle. Worst of all I didn’t speak up about it. I  found myself clinging to people who couldn’t help me for support and validation, and depending on ineffective coping mechanisms. I was on what can only be described as a self-destruct mission, feeling worthless and dealing with depression in isolation. But in a few short months things have completely turned around, and i’m so thankful! No, more than that, i’m proud. Proud that I was able to get out of my own head and learn to be happy. Truly, this summer i’m the happiest i’ve been in years, thanks to a few things… 

There is no magic ‘six step guide’ to battling your daemons and feeling positive, but here’s what’s helped me reinstall my enthusiasm for life this summer. 

  • Do it for you. This sounds like a daft first step, but it’s the only way to start on your positivity mission. For as long as I can remember I had been smiling for someone else and feeling for someone else. All this pretending for other people was getting me nowhere fast and my ambitions were put on hold by it. The only thing I allowed myself to feel for me was disappointment, never pride or happiness, they were always reserved for the ‘other'. It was this cocktail of negativity that facilitated the peak in my anxiety. Here’s what I worked out… Fundamentally, nobody else can install your self worth; and in hindsight, it’s a pretty selfish thing to expect from another person. I can’t remember exactly when I realised this, but I probably always knew it was an unfair expectation. Relying on someone to fuel your own self worth is a sure path to disappointment, especially when you’re relying on someone who is dealing with their own emotional junk (i.e. everyone). So, pull away, find your own reason to be happy - break away from relationships that are going nowhere, and live without a mission, make your only course of action finding fulfilment in achievements that are all yours. 

  • Remember what you do. Who am I? For a few years I truly felt irrelevant, in every capacity. Unnecessary at university, unwanted by my ‘friends’ and disliked by family/extended family (living in your head will do that to you). If you’re feeling a little unappreciated,  think about it. What makes you you? For me that’s aways been my music. Singing is something I put on hold after leaving school, I guess it was embarrassing to be successful and going at it alone wasn’t something people necessarily encouraged. But that’s the crux again, you’ve got to encourage yourself. How?  I started uploading covers more regularly, saying ‘yes’ when people asked me to sing at their events. Getting promo shots. Printing business cards. Before you know it, i’ve set up my own business and i’m a semi-pro function singer… Okay, HOW did that happen?! Honestly, the recipe is simple, a sprinkle of luck, a whole hug full of wonderful people and a cheeky dollop of self-belief. It is true that everything happens for a reason, but it might have happened quicker if you cut your losses and went for it earlier. 

  • Surround yourself with positivity. This is pretty clichéd (um, like everything you’ve said already Katy) but it’s so important. I completely took my pals for granted. Without going into details this time last year I was in a long term relationship and, as we all do when we’re in love I spent all my time with one person. But, this summer,  i’ve really reconnected with my girls, and wow, they are the most amazingly bonkers, golden-hearted, fun filled people I could ever hope to know. Reconnect with the people who know what to say, the people who go out with you, sip on cosmos with you, call you honey pot and make you laugh. They’re keepers and you owe them from all that time you spent being miserable around them. 
  • Lastly, make plans. This summer has been one adventure after the next and it’s only getting started. Book a train to see friends that have moved away, get tickets for that concert you’ve always wanted to see - plan a last minute girls holiday (shout out to my pals). Do things you regret (tick, tick, tick), kiss a few frogs, stay out too late, dance a little too hard to Taylor Swift in the morning, and live your life with purpose: be happy. 

Thanks for checking in guys! 

Lots of love 
Katy xoxo
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