Friday, 7 November 2014

Girl Crushing | What's your Problem?

I am in love with Taylor Swift. We have never met, and the likelihood is that this love story will be forever unrequited. Her ignoring of my tweet streams and adoring insta-pics will provide perfect fodder for my inevitable Tay-esque country album, BUT we will live our lives as perfect strangers. I'm okay with that. I love her, just as much as my pal Maxine loved that painter from the Xfactor and my mum lusts after Colin Firth. For some reason though, girl crushes get a bad press. 

It's always been this way really.  I should stress that my "love" here Is entirely plutonic... Not that it matters, BUT really loving Taylor Swift in particular, seems more dangerous than waking through a 'yes' bar in Glasgow with NO tattooed on your forehead. I'm cool with adoring her from a distance. Enough politics... Now here's for the serious girl power bit... What is it about young girls taking inspiration from influential, successful women that upsets people so much? I appreciate that there are flaws in twerking your way through life and serious potholes in Beyonce's drunk in love theory BUT what's wrong with admiring the tenacity of talented ladies! 

As in independent woman (of sorts) I find it grossly prejudice to define a woman's capacity as a role model by the cut of their t shirt OR a play by play of their romantic disasters. Some of the most POWERFUL women in the world are yet to figure out men. The best of them have saved the time wasted on heartbreak figuring out loving themselves first. This sass dates back to Cleopatra - trust me, it's something to be admired. 

I see a gorgeous, talented woman achieving something awesome, whether it's making music, writing for a magazine or winning gold and I'm PROUD. Once you brush aside that primitive jealous instinct and self pity, all that's left is girl power. Yes! 

It's so much easier to write a list of all the faults in someone's face than it is to stop and see the beauty in it. Most of the people you admire are people who have learnt to love ALL the faults you could EVER throw at them- or at least learnt to use them to their advantage... These are smart ladies! I have always been uncomfortable in my own skin. The loudest voice in my head is my own, telling myself I CANT and DONT. I believe that true success is measured in your inner monologue. Speak good things. 

I'd really recommend everyone watch Patricia Bright's video on feeling good. She lets you know that it's okay NOT to be like your girl crush... It's true that comparison is the thief of joy. BUT remember, is it possible to really LOVE someone without comparing yourself to them. 

Image wise, I'd love boobs like Katy P, Taylor's legs, Rhianna's bum, Jlaw's face, and well, Marilyn's anything, but that's normal. No one likes what they've got, but the person sitting next to you on the train has probably spotted something on your face that they wish they had... AND you're the lucky one if that's confidence! Looking at beautiful people is like looking at art, it's gorgeous but it's all about the subtext. Make yourself a page turner not just a pretty cover. 

Back to my Taylor obsession. I think she's a great role model! (So long as you don't ask Harry Styles). She inspires so many girls to do what they love and shake off the hate they are giving themselves. She also provides the soundtrack to every teen/twenty something's life movie... But I wouldn't expect anyone else to agree with me! She's the inspiration I need some days to see my own potential and say, if she can do it, I can do it. 

Perhaps Zoella is a more relatable example. She Is a gorgeous, self motivated gal who made success for herself despite her own insecurity. She is probably the most PUBLICISED and real example of someone overcoming their own expectations. I recently read a disturbing article where a journalist attacked the YouTube sensation, childishly labelling her irritating and self important. This frustrated me so much, it's just not the point. Girls don't love ZOE because they want to be here - they love her because they already are her. I hope she read that article and smiled - and felt sorry for the writer who totally missed the point of a 'girl crush'. 

Who are you crushing on? 

Katy xoxo


Abi S said...

This is such a good post I agree with it all! I love Colin Firth too haha, but it's strange it all gets a bit of a bad name! Abi :)

Heather McCorriston said...

Well said Katy! I love Taylor too :) and I loved your point about girls looking up to Zoe because they already are her

Heather x

Fabi said...

What a great post! I think that having role models is good as long as you don't compare yourself. Maybe it helps you to feel more confident, and sometimes we need a bit of motivation to feel good about who we are. Powerful girls who share a possitive message are always a good influence on others.

Fabi |

Kelsie Reynolds said...

Love your photos, they look really really good. Keep it up!


Gabrielle said...

This was a fantastic post to read through, I love your style of writing - it flows wonderfully! I agree with pretty much everything you've said and I'm with you whole-heartedly on appreciating Taylor Swift, although I'm not quite at the stage of tweeting her (yet) ;) ''Make yourself a page turner, not just a pretty cover'', that's a really lovely quote. Thank you for following my blog, I've very happily followed you too and really looking forward to more of your posts! :)


VV Nightingale said...

I read that article about Zoella too and it really annoyed me. Loved this post as it's quite a unique thing to write about. Is it bad that I love Colin Firth too? I think role models are a great thing to have, and I have quiet a few girl crushes.

Katy 'J said...

Thank you so much Abi! Aw, who doesnt? Haha he's Mr Darcy after all... Xxx

Katy 'J said...

Thank you heather! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! I think its so true though isn't it? She's successful because she's true to herself 😊😊 xxx

Katy 'J said...

Thank you!! Loving how empowered everyone is feeling today! Xxx

Katy 'J said...

Thank you! Need to get better lighting! Xxx

Katy 'J said...

Aw Gabrielle thank you so much. Means such a lot!! Your blog is beaut... So is your hair! Aha gorgeous. So happy you enjoyed this post, more to come! Xxx

Katy 'J said...

It was so irritating wasn't it? Really narrow minded!! Xxx

Robbers Corner said...

Absolutely love this post! It's so true how it's so demonized having a girl crush and admiring girls because of what they are, do and achieve!!!
My girl crushes are also Taylor Swift because of the same reasons as you, and Pixie Lott, because she never stops working hard and smiling and just being nice to everyone even if she doesn't get the success she deserves (in my opinion) appart from being gorgeous of course!



Katy 'J said...

thank you so so much! It's so weird isn't it? xxx

Millie Boniface said...

Preaching to the choir sister! Love this post!
People still have the idea of the 'perfect girl' in their head but theres so many different variations and it doesn't make one any less worthy than the other! You can admire someones looks, talent or career but everyone has a role model, no bad connotations required :)
I have (too) many girl crushes and my list is forever growing ha! Tay Tay (of course), Katy Perry, Emma Stone, Lauren Conrad, Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey, J Law, Emma Watson.... xx

Chrisylla Octavia said...

Love reading this post honestly.. There is nothing wrong with having a role model on our lives, but some people are just too ignorant and they judge us for admiring someone that we actually look up to. Same like you, I have a lot of girl crushes such as Anne Hathaway, Anna Akana, Kendal Jenner, etc etc


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